arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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