I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
