I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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