And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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