i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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