it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
