I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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