You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
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