the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
