i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
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