He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
All I want is dick and wine.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
