he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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