so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
