Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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