Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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