She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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