I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
