Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
