Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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