People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
