A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
So vagazzling was a success
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
