So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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