Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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