I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
