I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
