You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
