the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
