Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
