He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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