You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
