How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
