Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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