i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
