Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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