Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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