I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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