Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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