as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
