fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
