I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
