That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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