kristin has been a bad kristin
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
zippers are such a cool invention
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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