theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
