After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
