Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
