i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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