so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
