So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
