i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
