Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I need to align my fucking chakras
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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