Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
