I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
